Have you ever noticed how much more understanding you can be toward someone else than you are toward yourself?

A friend tells you they’re exhausted, and you encourage them to rest.

Someone you love cancels plans because they aren’t feeling well, and you tell them not to worry.

But when you’re the one who needs to change plans, suddenly the rules seem different.

I know that feeling.

It’s easy to start thinking about what you should have done, what you could have accomplished, or whether you’ve disappointed someone.

But I’ve been learning that being kind to myself doesn’t mean lowering my expectations for life.

It means being realistic about what I need while continuing to pursue the things that matter to me.

Sometimes that means celebrating something small.

Sometimes it means accepting help without turning it into a personal failure.

And sometimes it means recognizing that I made the best decision I could with the information and energy I had at the time.

I wouldn’t want someone I love to spend their day criticizing themselves for having limitations.

So why would I want that for myself?

Something to remember: You can be patient with yourself and still be determined.

You can make adjustments and still have ambitions.

And you can treat yourself with kindness without giving up on the person you’re becoming.